Jimmy's Eulogy

I would like to begin by thanking each and every one of you for being here and showing Dennis & our family your love & respect. Last night was amazing…the number of cars in that parking lot is amazing…it proved to me that I was right; Dennis was loved by so many.

I would also like to thank all of you who came to the hospital the past month and spent time supporting our family and making sure Dennis was never lonely. I know who you are and I will always be thankful.

As anyone who knew Dennis and I, even casually, would tell you, we were as close as two people, two brothers, could be. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the names Dennis & Jimmy spoken together from an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, a friend, or my parents, I would be a very rich man.

Many times I have heard people say that they had never seen two brothers as close as we were…and they were 100% right.

We were crib mates, bunkmates, roommates, teammates, business partners, but above all else we were best of friends. Even as close as Dennis was to his numerous friends, and he had many, and he was close, there was something bigger, something greater that he and I shared, because we were brothers. It’s such a powerful, beautiful word if you think about it. It meant so much to me and Dennis that we had that word connecting us. No matter what happened, we always, ALWAYS had each other’s back.

Why was Dennis loved by so many? Why was he such a popular guy? (I checked his cell phone just yesterday and he had over 400 numbers in it!) Looks alone, which he had, don’t make you popular…being a great athlete, which he was, doesn’t make you popular…being intelligent, which he was, doesn’t make you popular…you have to have something more, something which makes you special…you have to have what people used to say about someone I idolize, John Kennedy, had; you have to have charisma… for as the old proverb goes, ‘your character is your destiny’…and Dennis had a TON of character!

So what was it that gave Dennis his character, his charisma, which drew so many people to him? Anyone who knew Dennis even casually would agree with me when I say that the five greatest things about him were:

1.) His sense of humor. There are so, so many stories, and we speak about them all the time. I’m sure each and every one of you has a special story that you will cherish the rest of your days. His love of fun would brighten even the gloomiest of situations, the darkest of rooms.

The second facet of Dennis’ personality which made him so well liked was his…
2.) His sense of adventure
a. He would go anywhere, anytime to do something he had never done before.
b. I know this sounds trivial, like minutia, but he would try any food…Indian food, real Chinese food, if you cooked it, he would eat it.
It was almost like he knew that life could end at any time so he might as well do everything there is to do.

The third thing which brought so many to Dennis
3.) His love of a good time
a. He loved a spontaneous barbecue, a last second call to go to a Pats or Red Sox game. He was always up for anything, anytime.

The fourth thing about Dennis which endeared so many to him was…
4.) His fearlessness
a. He never feared anyone or anything. He loved a challenge and LOVED to compete!

But by far his greatest quality, which made Dennis the guy everyone wanted to be around, was…
5.) The way he cared for and protected the people he loved. We could fill a book with all the stories of Dennis trying to protect any and all of us…I’d like to briefly share a few stories that I will remember forever…
a. I call this the Pop Warner story…I am around 7 and Dennis is a year older…I am playing on the C team…and he is on the B team…If you anything about Pop Warner football you know that teams play one after another…well I am, if I am lucky, a 100 lb. running back…I get the ball and get tackled after a short gain and the guy who tackles me starts a fight with me on the ground…NO ONE on my team does anything…as I am fighting to get up, I see the blur of a blue jersey grabbing the other player and throwing him to the ground…I soon realize that it’s my brother, Dennis…He’s not even on my team and he comes onto the field to defend me! I will never forget our coach berating the other players after the game…explaining to them that it should have been one of the guys on our team and not Dennis who had to come to my aid.

Another story I will never forget happened only a few years ago…
b. Dennis had been diagnosed with cancer only a few weeks prior and was finally home. He and I are together in a small room in his house and I finally have a chance to speak to him about the entire situation. At one point I say to him this is the WORST thing that could ever happen…he doesn’t blink and says, “No, it’s not…It could be worse, it could be one of my kids”.

I could go on and on with these stories and I know you all could add many, many more, but we will have more time for that later.

A good question is; was it nature, or nurture which made Dennis so great. Was Dennis born with all these super qualities or did he make himself into this magnificent person? I think it was a combination of both. He was born great, but made himself even greater.

When we were around 13 or 14 we both got jobs cleaning dishes at a now defunct restaurant in Revere called General Edwards Inn. One day, some older kid tells me and Dennis that he is the best dishwasher in the place. Of course, Dennis says he is, and he was. Later I say to Dennis, “Who cares about being the best dishwasher?”, and he says to me, and I will never forget this, “Why not be the best at everything and anything you do?”. This is how he lived.

In the last few years, since Dennis was diagnosed, I’ve asked myself many, many times, as I know he did, why? Why him? The only thing I can come up with is this; he had so much good luck his entire life. He had great looks, a great physique, he was tremendously athletic, he was extremely bright, he had a great sense of humor, it was like someone said, ‘this guy has been too lucky’. He was the action hero in movies, the guy who won the game with a walk-off homer, the guy who got the prettiest girl, he was the guy everyone wanted to be…including me!

So what do we do now? A great guy, with three small children, dies way, way too young. Do we all try to forget, like any sane person would do, about the disease that killed him? I say NO! I KNOW Dennis, being the protector he was, wouldn’t want anyone ever again to go through what he had to go through.

Although this is a difficult subject to think about and discuss at this trying time, I think we have to.

In 2007 alone, more than one and a half million people have been diagnosed with Cancer. That’s THIS year alone! There will be some 560,000 deaths from cancer this year, and that number is not going to change dramatically any time soon. That’s more than half a million people dying each and every year for the foreseeable future. That’s 1500 people a day! This year, there will be 70,000 New Englanders alone diagnosed with this horrible disease, 30,000 of which will die! Look around you today, sadly, one, or many of us will be part of these horrible statistics.

This begs the question…what can we do?

There are three things you can do to make a difference:
1.) Donate your time and/or your money to any organization which fights the disease. Get involved in walks and/or runs which raise money to fight cancer. The American Cancer Society, which the love of my life, my wife Kathy, has worked for for many year’s is a great one. Lance Armstong’s Livestrong is another great one. Many of these organizations have boldly targeted the year 2015 as the year cancer will be wiped from the face of the earth! Let us help them.
2.) Be creative, like my sister Katie and build website, or blog to raise funds to fight cancer.
3.) And lastly, and this one is very simple, don’t delete “junk mail” which pertains to anything to do with cancer. Pass these forward so people won’t forget. Nobody likes to think about a subject like this, but we all must. This should never happen to a 38 year old guy, or anyone else for that matter. Let us do it in Dennis’ memory. Let us make the “big C” as easy to beat as the common cold.

There is one more thing I would like to ask of all of you…and this is by far the most important thing; as you know Dennis was the father of three little girls. From the beginning of this horrible ordeal, by far his biggest worry was that these girls would grow up without a father and become distanced from everyone. There is an old African proverb which states ‘It takes a village to raise a child’. Despite the fact that many of us live far from Jodi & the children, we have to become that village. This, however, is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. It’s very easy to be there in the beginning, but we must stay involved until the end. We cannot let them down! I cannot, and will not, let Dennis down.

I always try to be as positive a person as I can be. So in my mind I keep coming back to this one thought, ‘what good can come of this?’. The only thing I can think of is that by dying young, Dennis, like Elvis, who one of our friends recently compared him to, and so many other’s who have left this earth far too early, he will live forever…in our collective memories and with the stories we will always tell about him.

As you can all imagine, this is, has been and will continue to be very difficult for me. However, I will not hide in my house, bury my head, or close off the world. I can’t. This is not me, I have to keep busy. Here is what I have already begun to do. I am making a 1-1 1/2 hour movie about Dennis’ life. I will be looking for any old photos you might have of Dennis and/or video. I will be asking some of you for interviews about Dennis. It is my hope that by next summer, we can have a big party showing the movie. Dennis always wanted to be a movie star, this is his chance.

I recently read a quote which said, ‘Reputations last longer than life.’ Well, if this is true Dennis will be alive for a long, long time.

I would like to end this by saying
My brother Dennis could be described in three simple lines:

He feared nothing,
He embraced anyone,
He loved everyone.